Our Letters

Dearest Joshua David~

Hello little cutie!  Guess what today is .... your Great-Grandmother's birthday!  We called her on our way home from MOPS this morning.  We got her answering machine so we sang 'Happy Birthday' on the machine for her.  :-)

This morning was our second MOPS meeting.  There were two other women who joined our small group today, which made me feel more comfortable since I was new too (only our second meeting).  :-)  I almost thought we would have to skip this meeting because it was storming when we woke up this morning.  But, by the time we needed to leave, it was just drizzling outside.  

The speaker today was a therapist and she talked about trying to "take care of you' so that we don't get too stressed in our everyday lives.  She is a mother of grown twins, so she would journal when her children were younger as a stress relief.  Recommended that all moms take a few minutes a day to do something to re-energize themselves .... whether it's talking a short walk .... writing in a journal .... reading .... praying .... she said that being a mother will be filled with trials, so it's important to have that balance for yourself and for your family (so you can be a better mom).  She gave us some scripture verses from James 1:2-27 that talk about trials and releasing your burdens to God.  She also gave us some other verses to look at and encouraged us to give all our stresses to Him.  

We broke up into our small groups after she spoke and we all went around and discussed things that we do to help ourselves.  One mommy paints .... a few journal .... a few bake .... some have close friends that they can talk to.  I told them about our letters.  :-)

Little man, after you were born .... I was really scared!  I didn't know if you'd be ok, or even survive .... I didn't know if I could ever have other children .... I didn't know if I'd be a good mommy .... I was confused about why the pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome happened to us .... I was sad I couldn't hold you right away .... I cried myself to sleep a few nights .... I cried when daddy took me home from the hospital and you had to stay .... it was really hard .... but, I was blessed you were alive and surviving.  To help me with all that (besides family and friends), I started to write you these letters .... it helped me to figure things out by writing it out.

Now, I know it'll be years from now before you can read these letters .... and many years after that before you will really understand them .... and probably several years more before you appreciate them .... but I still enjoy these little moments and thoughts together.  It's a way I can express things to you, and hopefully pass on some little tid bits of knowledge or advice.  :-)  And, when Peanut comes along, she can share in these moments together too.  :-)  Needless to say, everyone in our small group now knows about your premature birth and our prayer request for Peanut.  All the women there were supportive and loved the story about our letters.  ;-)

As a side note though, there are three mommies in our group that have sets of twins, and one of those mommies also has a 4 year old and a 2 year old (in addition to her 6 month old twins), so I was impressed with her!  :-)

You're standing a lot more now (while holding onto things) and this evening you showed daddy how you're walking now right and left holding onto the play gate.

This afternoon your new car seat came!  We ordered it online just a few days ago!  We'll take a look at all the instructions this weekend and see if we can figure it all out.  ;-)

You took a little afternoon nap today.  I ended up closing my eyes with you!  I think my body is getting use to having a little rest/nap time each afternoon for about an hour.  On wednesdays and thursdays (days that I go to work) I feel more drained when I'm home in the evenings.  :-P

This evening we had fun with daddy.  You two giggled on the couch .... it was so cute!  You have the most adorable giggle while daddy was playing with you.  We did some laundry while you played, but you eventually fell asleep while we held you in the bonus room.  

Oh, one more thing .... daddy got in a little fender bender this morning .... someone rear-ended him on his way into work today .... but don't worry .... daddy's ok and there's barely even a scratch on his car! 

Tomorrow I head to work, but Penny will be here .... save those smiles and kisses for me .... I look forward to them when I get home!

Sleep tight my little Joshua!

I love you!

~Mommy