Remembrance

Dearest Precious Children~

Today was a day of remembrance .... 10 years ago today our country suffered the largest single day massacre in it's history.  Two planes flew into the Twin Towers (World Trade Center) in New York and one crashed in Pennsylvania .... but was headed for the Pentagon.  Countless people lost their lives from this terrorist attack, which I'm sure you'll read about in your history books.  I was in college at the time.  Classes were cancelled everywhere as we all watched the replay over and over of the Twin Towers crashing down.  It was a sad day for all.  

Grandpa Jim did the Ironman Wisconsin race today and wore his USA jersey for the bike portion.  We tracked his progress all day long on the computer.  He wore number 2720.  :-)

Grace, you woke up crying at 5:50am.  Daddy changed you and then I nursed you.  I ended up holding you all last night and Joshua noodled into our bed.

Joshua, you ate some cheerios with me for breakfast!  I went upstairs to do a quick pump.  You two were playing downstairs and daddy was watching.  Joshua, you ended up throwing your toy grill at Grace!  She didn't cry and no one was hurt, but you got in trouble.  :-P

We went to park after lunch today.  It was hot so we only stayed out there for 30 minutes.  Everyone had red cheeks when we were done!  So, everyone got a bath when we were back home.  You two had such fluffy hair after your baths.

We all watched the first half of the USA vs Ireland rugby game.  Ireland was winning 10-1 at the half.  I don't know the rules, but it was interesting to watch.  I saw a match when I did a dental rotation in Australia.  :-)

We all fell asleep this afternoon for a nap.  I held Grace after nursing her and ended up napping for 1 hour!  Wow!

Today was also a remembrance of something else .... on June 12, 2001 my Nana (Gigi's mommy) passed away after battling colon cancer .... she was the youngest of my grandparents.  I was in college and I loved her very much.  She had been sick for awhile, but it still hurt when she left us to go to Heaven.  On September 11, 2001, she would have turned 67 years old .... it was the first birthday without her.  It was already a painful day for our family, not to mention what else transpired that morning with our country.  

Today marks another birthday without her.  Now, it has been 10 solid years.  It hurts today as much as it hurt 10 years ago.  I thought this pain would go away, but even as I write this the tears fall down my face.  I still miss her and she was on my mind all day today.  She would have loved seeing you two!  Look how precious you two are!  

It was a really sad day for me today.  For some reason, this loss really hurt today .... perhaps it was because of all the additional coverage from 10 years ago of the Twin Towers as well.  I don't know.  All I know is that I wanted to be with my own mother, Gigi, all day today.  I wanted to curl up with her and block out all other distractions.

Grandpa Mike and Mimi came over for dinner.  I didn't want company.  I didn't want to make small talk with other people.  I didn't invite them.  I was hurting inside.  The only person I would have wanted over was Gigi .... no one else.  I stayed upstairs until company was gone.  I did another pump for Grace and then took a shower.  Then, I sat down and wrote this letter. 

I wish I could say I will protect you two from all scary things and that you will never suffer in life.  Unfortunately, pain will find you all in some form at some point in your life.  It will be hard when it comes and I'll try my best to help you two get through it .... but I will be powerless to stop it.  Pain is a natural human emotion that you will need to experience on your own.  Some times the pain and hurt go away quickly .... some times it lingers for years.  I only pray that you won't have to experience it any time soon! 

Sleep tight little ones!

I love you both so very much .... forever and ever!

~Mommy